I lay in bed with my eyes wide open in the dark, trying to forget how to think. Instead, pointless thoughts float through.

How important is a cylinder to the car?
Should have used that loan forbearance sooner?
What happened?

I should have written something today…

I should have written about the dream I had last night. I was sitting with a little gray and white kitten on my lap. She was a polydactyl, a “Hemingway Cat,” with extra toes on each of her paws. Her little pink nose crinkled whenever she meowed loudly, like she always did.

And then she was gone. I should have written about her.

I blink slowly in the dark. Think of something else, think of something else…

For weeks I have been falling asleep with similar thoughts floating through my head, drifting into the same non-responsive nightmare.

He never says anything. Just stands there smirking at me. He even patted me on the head once like a dog. “Shut up,” (pat, pat). I’m not even confident that didn’t actually happen in real life. It all blends together.

I ask, “Where’s the cat?”

He never responds, only grins. As if there never was a cat, and I was insane for looking.

Luciana, 24